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Saturday, 06 June 2009



  • I texted him and got a very prompt answer saying he was glad to hear from me and to call if i wanted.  The convo went very well for about three in a half hours.. yeah it was a nice long convo :D  But then i asked him "what he expected", trying to find out if he was thinking this would turn into a relationship or just a friendship.  He kept avoiding the question im not sure if it was intentional or not though.  Then i said something to the effect that if your doing this and have no intention of a relationship coming out of it i really dont think i can do this, im just going to get hurt.  He took it as relationship or nothing at all, and was very upset.  I tried to save myself a bit and explain, saying i just didnt want him to say the kind of stuff he was (very intimate things and talking about sex and such)  without considering a relationship, that just not right.  I said if we end up just being friends thats fine, but if hes talking sex he better at least be thinking relationship lol.  This explanation didnt help he was still upset and "said no i know what you mean .. you cant just be friends because you would always want something more".. which i guess i couldnt argue with to be honest.  I dont see how that made him mad either though and why it was such a big deal.  After we got off the phone * at 5 am lol*  i thought about it and figured that friends probably was a better option anyways, we live pretty far apart and if it did ever work out even he said he doesnt think he could date someone not willing to have sex with him, which i definitely understand is a big problem for him. 
    But he also said somethings that scared the crap out of me because i have no clue what on earth he meant by it, maybe it was how late it was?? lol   Some of the things were that when i call back i better be expecting only friends and nothing more and another was "you went all in and i folded... so if you want to call me back sometime you better be able to give me a new hand and seem as you already lost they better be a good set of cards"  and then thats when i said "uhhh WHAT?" And the only thing more i got out of the explanation was that by card he meant relationship?  Yeah that doesnt help? Also said something about the ball being in my court and when i call back i better know exactly what i want and better just straight up tell him what it is i want and whatnot.  I dont know what he meant by that either... Im just so very confused lol.  I cant help but wonder why what i said made him sooo upset and why hes so against a relationship after sounding like thats what he wanted in previous conversations.  The only thing is im fine with just being friends, but does that mean not seing him again and just talking, i dont know what "just friends" means too him. 

    So what am i supost to say to him next time i call?   I have no clue what hes expecting, was he hoping that all of that would scare me off?  Man im confused.

Tuesday, 02 June 2009



  • Much has changed since last time and i find myself needing advice yet again..

    My at the time boyfriend and i broke up which i realize was good thing but what followed... not so ideal.  The next weekend after we broke up i went with my roomie back to her place to hang out and get to know her brother a bit better.  My ex was ok with it at the time, but i knew he had to be at least a little bit jealous which turned out to be true.  I seriously underestimated how he was react.. i haven't been able to talk to him the same since. This has made the following situation a lot more difficult and has left me with few people to talk to about it and not much to get my mind off of it either.

    Now with my roomies brother... we hung out that weekend and had a pretty good time.  I found out some not so fantastic things about him but in the end was still very interested in him.  He admitted to being a bit of a bit of a manwhore i guess lol but but strongly hinted that wants a relationship for once.  His sister had mentioned to me as well that he wasn't really interested in just fooling around as far as she knew and was actually looking for a relationship.  Well he ended up never asking me out or anything like that but called me almost ever night for a week or two along with texting and whatnot and of course the longer time went on the less frequent the calls were.  (they were never that long to begin with just a few minutes and usually really late at night...)  Well the past month i haven't heard from him once and was ok with that i mean of course i wanted to talk to him but i was fine if he wasn't interested though too.  I was a little bitter though because i told him if he wasn't interested just let me know, i didn't want to be waiting for a call that was never going to come you know.  He said he would but not to worry about it because he liked me (he's a VERY blunt person so not a big deal figured he would say it if he wasn't interested anymore)  So because he never came out and said it i was still partly hanging on and hoping i would get that random text at some point in time.. and last week i did.  And of course it was at 1 in the morning... when i finally texted him back i said basically not to text me any more because your wasting my minutes and that if he really wanted to talk call my home phone and by some odd chance he actually did it.  We talked for all of five minutes and he said he would call me back sometime.. and yeah its been a week.  And now i find myself staring at my phone just hoping he will call.  I don't know if i should call him up, he is pretty busy doing random crap most of the time, if i should take it as he's not that interested, if he was just bored .. lol. I have to say my ex was never this hard to figure out..  he liked me he called me and that was it... lol ( i also can help but wonder as well if the reason hes not call is because it is my home phone.  He not one to talk before midnight.. which might be a bad sign in an of itself...?  but i really do doubt thats the whole reason maybe just a factor in it)

    I have to admit i really do want to talk to him but don't want to annoy him but then again i really wish i could just forget about him too.  Its driving me crazy how much i'm thinking about him especially seem as i had just gotten him out of my head... I swear if i forget out him again and then he calls again and this happens yet again i will just go crazy lol


    Is there any advice you can give me?  Should i call or text him or just forget about him?   Any insight as to what the hell is up with him... is he interested or not... and so on.  The more advice the better because i think i'm just pathetic and terrible at this kind of stuff lol

Tuesday, 10 March 2009






  • I have been dating the same guy for three years now.  He is my first boyfriend and while i am very close to him and still love him, i don't feel any attraction for him any more.  Just this week I basically let him know that i wanted to date other people(wanted to but had no plan to actually of doing).  I feel very selfish for this because the only reason i want this is because i just want to feel that rush you get when you first start liking someone.  I really hadn't planned on breaking up with him, i just felt he should know,but to my surprise he felt the same way.  That hurt.   I know that's awful to say its okay for me to feel that way but he can't but he also wanted it for a different reason than i did.  He unlike me wanted to see if there was anyone else out there better then me, i just wanted that rush again.


    Just this last Thursday my roomies brother came to visit for the first time.  Hes a very blunt person and came right out and told me that he knew i had a boyfriend but really liked me.  We stayed up all night talking and i told him my whole situation and he tried to give me some advice.  He basically said that i should break up with him because theres really no point in being with him any more (which is obviously bias because he admited to liking me lol).  He also asked me many times throughout the night if he could see me again, and each time i replied no.  He also kissed me on the forehead a few times and kept saying that he thought there could be something between us.  I really did like him but i am still with my boyfriend and at that moment i was feeling extreamly guilty for talking to this guy.


    Now that a few days have past im going crazy.  All i can think about is my roomates brother.  I keep thinking hes right there is something between us, but then again hes the first guy i have let myself like even a little bit in years.  I also can't help but wonder if he was just taking advantage of me.  I didn't do anything with him but just can't picture any guy liking me that much after just meeting me.  I keep thinking that as soon as i go back to school that i want to call or text him but keep thinking that maybe he never really expected me to and was just saying that stuff to see how far he could get with me.  Do you think that i should try to contact him at all?  I guess i would really appreaciate any advice you could give me. 

    Also i guess its good to say i am still with my boyfriend but we both realize that we will breakup in the near future.  I also did tell him about everything that happend that night and he was completly fine with all of it.